Becoming “Genderful”

 I am a TME (transmisogyny exempt) trans person. I usually tell people I’m transmasc to paint a neat little picture of “which way” I transitioned, but the actual answer is a lot messier. I came out as genderfluid first, as a teenager on Tumblr. The first gender affirming decision I made was to cut my hair into a pixie cut when I was 15. I splattered paint on a white, short sleeve button-up that had my messy handwriting on it boldly stating “THEY/THEM” for my first pride. No one commented on it, and very few people used the right pronouns. I dug my heels in further, changing my name and starting testosterone at 19. I was desperate for others to see the thing I felt was so obvious, that there was something genderweird about me, and it was beautiful! I learned mostly online about trans people, until I expanded the in-person communities I was in and found an abundance of trans knowledge from other trans people. Eventually, I started studying gender studies at the university I attended. I was hired as an LGBTQ* peer educator, where I created resources for other queer and trans individuals and collaborated with others to panel in classes about LGBTQ* 101, advocacy 101, and our experiences as trans and queer individuals. In this role, I honed my advocacy skills and learned a great deal about how to present information to a variety of audiences with their own perspectives, biases, and comfort levels surrounding LGBTQ* education. In 2020, I had a bilateral double mastectomy with free nipple grafts (not financially free, “free” as in removed, resized, and resewn on).